As I am *so* much older than you, I can <<be real >> with you for a moment and say.... I find myself less and less giving a shit about being anything other than what I perceive to be my authentic self with the passing of every year. It could be that I am deluding myself, but I don't think so. I had so much to prove (in my mind) when I was younger, but that ship has sailed. Like, truly. When I was a classical musician (what I originally wanted to be when in college, at a conservatory) it was the performative aspect that I decided I hated. Because the one thing that performance turns into is COMPETITION. Maybe that's a key thing -- that everything becomes competition when it need not be.
I don't think you're deluding yourself. you are one of the most authentic people I know, on and offline. and you're right about the competitive aspect. we've also gotten socialised into and trained to believe that visibility is an integral part of modern life, especially for creative people, and especially when you're still working. there are tons of jobs out there that require you to add your social media platforms to your application. there a countries that require you to add them to your visa application. it's insane when you think about it. I do feel like I have no choice but to remain visible to some extent in order to keep working.
When the algorithms started to reward "imperfection" everything became performative. The word "real" has completely lost its meaning. Any time someone says online "let me be real for a second" usually they are going to follow up with trying to sell you something. A course. An affiliate link. A product. In the beginning when everyone just shared their craft in their own way it did feel more authentic. Some people love amazing photography or polished artistic points of view, now that's automatically deemed inauthentic. It's so bizarre.
nothing is authentic anymore, or rather it is, or may be, but at the same time, simply by choosing to show 'it' over something equally authentic 'it' becomes performative. that's the dilemma of it all. even not showing anything, not having any online presence, can be performative, depending on where you choose to mention it. that's the kind of twisted world we created.
Wow Petra, have you been reading my mind? Lately I have been feeling that dichotomy…you expressed so well some of my thoughts. 🙏🏻
As I am *so* much older than you, I can <<be real >> with you for a moment and say.... I find myself less and less giving a shit about being anything other than what I perceive to be my authentic self with the passing of every year. It could be that I am deluding myself, but I don't think so. I had so much to prove (in my mind) when I was younger, but that ship has sailed. Like, truly. When I was a classical musician (what I originally wanted to be when in college, at a conservatory) it was the performative aspect that I decided I hated. Because the one thing that performance turns into is COMPETITION. Maybe that's a key thing -- that everything becomes competition when it need not be.
I don't think you're deluding yourself. you are one of the most authentic people I know, on and offline. and you're right about the competitive aspect. we've also gotten socialised into and trained to believe that visibility is an integral part of modern life, especially for creative people, and especially when you're still working. there are tons of jobs out there that require you to add your social media platforms to your application. there a countries that require you to add them to your visa application. it's insane when you think about it. I do feel like I have no choice but to remain visible to some extent in order to keep working.
Just do the work as if the algorithms didn’t exist
When the algorithms started to reward "imperfection" everything became performative. The word "real" has completely lost its meaning. Any time someone says online "let me be real for a second" usually they are going to follow up with trying to sell you something. A course. An affiliate link. A product. In the beginning when everyone just shared their craft in their own way it did feel more authentic. Some people love amazing photography or polished artistic points of view, now that's automatically deemed inauthentic. It's so bizarre.
nothing is authentic anymore, or rather it is, or may be, but at the same time, simply by choosing to show 'it' over something equally authentic 'it' becomes performative. that's the dilemma of it all. even not showing anything, not having any online presence, can be performative, depending on where you choose to mention it. that's the kind of twisted world we created.
it's so so so true it's mind-numbing
We’re all figuring it out - I find this viewpoint to be super helpful; particularly in relationships with others.
it's the story of everything. the moment one thing starts to make sense something else stops...
Thank you for putting that section of my brain into words. It feels slightly less heavy now :)
you're welcome :) mine does too!